dieting

last week, i went to a conference. there was a topic about bus driver - obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) - obesity. that was very interesting !!

so i shared that with my friend who happens to be obese with BMI = 33. i told him that please lose some weight because with BMI = 33, you are qualify to get the OSA. OSA is very bad thing; you snores out loud during sleeping, are having difficulties to breath and are lethargy during daylight even you sleep very early at the night before. apart from that you are opt to experience marriage crisis with your life partner later on. i also added some points of my own (that not been discussed in the conference); the obeses are usually lazy to move (i.e passive/ dormant or whatever that is similar) and bad-tempered.

quote 1

I found an interesting quote and would like to share. The quote is as below:


" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes " - Mel Brooks


So true, right? No human is perfect. So why bother or worry unnecessarily when we make mistake because that's nature !
And instead of that, why don't we learn something out of it; so that we do not make the same mistake twice !

motivating 2

I did tell to the sky..these two bothering problems (of course, with no specific details) the followings are what the sky said : (in malays and smses)

> Awk ni apa cite, bila nak abis master? Da 2 thun lbh. Jgn ar buang masa terlalu lama. Kalo rasa tak leh, stop je. Bina kerjaya pulak
+ hello, baru 1.5 thn ! jadi RA dah 1.5 thn :D xde la rasa buang masa sgt. byk benda sy belajar; bkn stakat benda2 lab tp benda2 berkaitan kehidupan yg lain. mustila tak leh stop, da janji dgn supervisor, da amik duit scholarship, da bgtau sume org sy tgh wat master, alih2 quit. what a shame !

> Tak fikir rugi ke da blaja jauh2, balik2 end up with nothing. Cubalah cari kerja yg bagus2. Contribute something yg bermanfaat pd negara, agama, bangsa dan diri sendiri
+ dr segi mata kasar, rugilah kot. tp dr segi maka tak kasar; mase sy blaja dulu tu byk sy blaja tentang kehidupan. awk igt dgn degree je, senang nak cari keje skrg ni dgn options bidang ini yg terhad. berapa ramai junior sy masih terkapai2 cari keje or tgh menganggur. cari keje bkn suatu yg senang skrg ini. sy bkn patriotik sgt nak contribute pd negara, no sense of belong. rakyat asyik dibuli je. harga minyak naik berapa sen tetapi turun 10 sen jek. do you expect we have to contribute something to this country in this situation. hell no! sy cuma tak beri undi kpd parti Barang Naik itu & juga kpd those ultra kiasus

motivating 1

Lately, i am bit stressed out. Been optimizing my real time PCR for the past 2 months with no success yet. It was very heartbreaking. I have my poster presentation in July and the pcr that is still not working. Stressed all out ! I did so many gradient pcr reactions with multi melting curve peaks sometimes (although the company said the primers are specific to genes of interest) and of course no bands on gel electrophoresis and of course with friends and supervisor asking (busybodying?); how things going on? They really pissed me off ! did not they see how i am struggling here?

Still, I have not lost my hopes yet. Wait for my new pcr kit to come this Tuesday. Then we will see..Dear God, please !!!!!

That's one prob..I have another one problem that keeps bothering me quite for some times now. I have several family issues. Too embarrassed to tell what they are all about even to my best friends. Now, I think its about two months or three that I have lost keep in touch with, even with my mom. My father did contact me couple weeks ago which made me crying out loud and alone..I think the issue was their faults (especially mom). Why could not they just contacted me after noticed how long I was invisible to them. (I was never invisible to them before. I always call them/ mom at least once a week). or they just could not be bothered anymore or they did not noticed? I really feel lonely, disappointing and not been loved.

It does not matter with me, if they just contact me asking how am I doing? and not explaining or solving the issue that keeps me at distant. But they never did that.

I tell myself everyday, never mind I will call them today (especially mom). But when I am bit free, I just did not pick up the phone and call them. My ego controls me after all...

These two problems really make me tensed all day and make me think a lot. Whenever bad things happen, I always think that happen because of my wrong doings and Allah wants to punish me..

envy

My friend just passed her viva and qualified for her master. Good for her. I am bit envy.

i hope i could achieve the same thing. I have been doing it for the pass 1 year plus..Yet the achievement was not so enlightening. I guess many factors play part. Majority, me myself.

When I heard her good news, I am very happy for her. From what I heard from her, the journey was not so easy. But finally, she managed. I admired her and everybody else who able to pursue and persist till the end. Deep down, I tell myself; see they could do it and why I cannot? I tried to motivate myself. Usually, it succeeds but it would not last longer. Then I became what I am used to be. ayyo..

Why life seems to be very difficult. Is it because I am not been blessed by God because of my wrong doings? I did many awful things, too many to be counted.

Dear God, please help me to help myself! You are the only one that I could depends on..
Please God…

Dear self, please strive harder...
Please self...

Year

It has been a year since my last post. What to do, being me..inconsistency is always my trait. But a year !! :D

Nothing much happened ..still the same. Remember my pushing factors thingy? Tell you what, just applicable for some times. Then, im back to what's used to be me..

Let me list few significant events for past few months:

1. Parents: Dad hospitalized. And until now, he's not fully recovered. Quite worried. Mom still being superwoman as always
2. Siblings: My second bro been working. Alhamdulillah. My third bro, form 2 now. Grew very well physically but not mentally :D Ayyo, sangat malas belajar harap kan makan je byk !!
3. Work: Not much progressed. I have to finish it off by this year. Oh, please dear Allah help me to help myself :(
4. Affliation: Sometimes it bored me. I will try to stay positive about this. Hopefully, I could hang on and persistent
5. Sky: been better..Hopefully, it will get even better. Im counting on it, please be with me

I think thats pretty much covered the events

Till then