envy

My friend just passed her viva and qualified for her master. Good for her. I am bit envy.

i hope i could achieve the same thing. I have been doing it for the pass 1 year plus..Yet the achievement was not so enlightening. I guess many factors play part. Majority, me myself.

When I heard her good news, I am very happy for her. From what I heard from her, the journey was not so easy. But finally, she managed. I admired her and everybody else who able to pursue and persist till the end. Deep down, I tell myself; see they could do it and why I cannot? I tried to motivate myself. Usually, it succeeds but it would not last longer. Then I became what I am used to be. ayyo..

Why life seems to be very difficult. Is it because I am not been blessed by God because of my wrong doings? I did many awful things, too many to be counted.

Dear God, please help me to help myself! You are the only one that I could depends on..
Please God…

Dear self, please strive harder...
Please self...